But I was struggling mentally with the anguish, grief and endless hospital visits. I didn't really know what that was. And you know, we were laughing and joking. As though I went power mad for a week, killing my innocent unborn child, and now I am tainted for ever. I had never imagined having an amniocentesis. DS had 2 soft markers: talipes (club foot) and 'echogenic locii' somewhere - heart I think. Instead, we were shown to a room slightly away from the rest of the ward and the midwife stayed with us to talk through what was going to happen. And so we talked about it euphemistically, never saying the word "research". Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. But she told us, she told us, she gave us some more detail, she said, 'There's this, there's a big gap in the brain where there shouldn't be'. There's nothing wrong, you know, we've had all the tests, everything's fine,' and being very upbeat about it all. I didn't sleep that night I don't think. For example, some babies have a condition called open spina bifida, which affects the spinal cord. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). There was a very marked lack of amniotic fluid which made it difficult, not even for the scanners to see, that made the picture of the scan look very, very different. Some hospitals do offer earlier anomaly scans of the baby, but they will not show as much detail as scans performed between 18 and 20weeks. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. And nothing prepares you at all. And then all of a sudden, I was still laughing and we were all very upbeat, and then suddenly, he suddenly said, but I was still, still laughing, and he said to me, 'Oh, there might be a problem, there might be a problem with the, I think this baby has hydrocephalus'. I didn't think my instincts were worth much. In most cases the scan will show that your baby appears to be developing as expected but sometimes a condition is found or suspected. This article was amended on 24 November 2015 to anonymise the writer. Any delay in receiving more information about the abnormality and its implications will be distressing for women and this should be acknowledged. 'Soft markers'. The baby kicked, blissfully unaware of what I had done. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. I came back probably about 17 weeks pregnant and had the anomaly scan at 20 weeks and like most people expected everything to be fine and to come away with a lovely picture but unfortunately that isn't what happened. And so this one can't tell you anything, it's pictures, you're going, you're going to see your baby, you're going to get pictures. . And again, you know, you read all the books and it tells you 'this is the diagnostics', but after a while you don't hear that inside your head any more No, no, no, I'm fine - because everything's perfect. b>Bad news at 20 week scan. And at that point I don't think we, I don't think we realised that there might have to be a decision, because we'd talked about it with, with Down's and the other possible problems, but at this point it was, well okay what can be done to fix the problem - because yes the heart's not developing properly but there must be something we can do. So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. I was young, I didn't need one. It is extremely rare for these pregnancies to reach term as they typically spontaneously miscarry early in pregnancy. I just feel very unlucky. Baby loss stories We felt as if we were in limbo. So it was quite common, this is what happens. He's now had the all clear and is wriggling round on . I hated my body and hated every feeling I was having. Usually, sonographers will ask a senior sonographer colleague to confirm findings and this should be done immediately. We saw the consultant, who was reassuring, saying that he would rescan me and was sure everything would be fine. It felt as if we had gone power crazy. I had to take a tablet there and then, under the supervision of a nurse, to end the pregnancy. BabyCenter. And so, yeah we got to, carried on with the pregnancy, kept seeing the consultant, kept sitting in the waiting room outside, because there was a terribly long waiting time sometimes, depending on what time you had the appointment. factor is very strong. I've been incredibly lucky to have such amazing support from Sam, my mum, and close friends and family. The scan yet again confirmed things were not good, however the sac had grown. Looked exactly like our two year old as a baby. My partner spent the weekend trying to convince me that things were OK. We went, I went in to the scanning room and they're quite bland facially anyway, whether everything's fine or not they just look at the screen to start off with and do measurements but I very quickly realised that the woman's demeanour wasn't, even for a bland face, was concerning. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. The same unique expression he had when he saw our two year old born. Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis. Specialist scans So carried on with the plans, and, you know, planning for the, another baby to come along and then we went for a 20- week scan which is obviously the big one and very exciting, seeing all the arms and legs and once again everything was going fine, 'Look here's the baby, here's the length of baby'. I just want to be normal again. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. The people who did know what was going on seemed far too sure that we were doing the right thing, that there was really no choice to be made. My partner went out with him, wanting to see him. Can you describe the difference between the scan at this later stage in a pregnancy? And this baby sort of floated, and occasionally there was a slight movement, but it was very you could almost see that he was really poorly just from looking at the screen. Yeah, yeah. Very occasionally this second scan cannot be completed, for example because: In this case you will not be offered another screening scan but you will offered an all over physical examination for your baby after birth. So at least then we went to that next stage prepared for the worst really. I could hardly breathe. The next day, it was confirmed that my bloods had again dropped. While some parents understood the clinician's restraint - even when they had to wait an hour or more for a definite diagnosis - others disliked being kept in suspense and wanted to be told what the clinician was thinking. You've had your, you know, you've had your triple test and everything was fine. And at the end of the day however much we talked about it - that it was going to be the two of us to make the decision and me to actually you know, go through it and decide that that was what was going to happen for him - and I just, I didn't want to do it. I think what everyone is saying is that most likely outcome is that there are no problems at all. You've had, you've had your Down's Syndrome check and that's okay. Baby loss support I had to wait yet another sleepless night. This scan takes place between 18 weeks and 20 weeks 6 days of pregnancy and is commonly called the 20-week scan. I had to stop myself from yanking out the needle. So we gave up and said we'd arrange the funeral ourselves. The nursery I had selected for our two-year-old son; my maternity leave; the bunk beds; the summer holiday suitable for a newborn baby. It is impossible to escape them and each one underlines your loss. He suggested he perform an amniocentesis immediately, to rule out any chromosomal problems. We had so much power, we could decide that this little thing should die. We had the 20 week scan yesterday and got some devastating news. I popped out from work, telling my boss I'd be back in half an hour. We had to discuss what we wanted to do with the little body after delivery. When he came back, he agreed on a termination. So and you could see the exomphalus, this little pouch, which was obviously just the intestines where they are. We'll make an appointment with the senior sonographer, the consultant at the local hospital, and she'll do your scan and she'll be able to tell you more things'. Although the anomaly scan is often called a 20-week scan, you may have it any time between 18 and 22 weeks, although it's usually done between 18 and 20 weeks. Has anyone been told the sex incorrectly at their 20 week scan? In some very serious rare cases, where no treatment is possible, the baby will die soon after it is born or during pregnancy. The first result, which tells you if the baby has Down's syndrome, is ready in three days, but the other chromosomal problems cannot be eliminated for up to three weeks. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. And it was then because we were at 20 weeks by this point, there was only fairly short window to actually, to get some more tests done, find out what the problems were, and then make any decisions that might have to be made. Our nightmare began when I went for my 20-week scan. The consultant had said it wouldn't be like a normal delivery. It's quite common, perhaps 1 in 10 they find these, and within a few weeks they disappear. Some say this estimate is really below the reality, and the out-of-pocket average costs are higher.
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