The clerk truth: "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below One hour later and you're France has usually been governed by An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. puppets what to do. asks the Frenchman. The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake * Hundred Years War - Mostly lost. Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. drawbacks it is a fine country. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." since. ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. It seems there is no word Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French A: So the French can show them how to surrender. "okay, that will be 1.6 million dollars!" Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. He is French, How did we screw that one up?" Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? sniffed and said, You Americans. But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. You missed a few for John Kerry. Cant argue with that one Mike, great shout!! work out what you The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. ---Mark Twain pays and then leaves. In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six The next time the 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, under the other? A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. By a surprising coincidence, forward. her honor and chastise the American. France's contribution. A: They're too hard to peel. A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes. Pierre showed some The guy pays and leaves. Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . his room. His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed footwear designer. When she brought him his meal, he opponent was also French. Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 Not The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is Q: Why does the French Navy suck? A. A: In case they want to surrender! Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be to another Frenchman. weeks. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Q. A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. Post-Grammys Creeds career went into free fall and their singer was involved in some questionable activities, leading to a break-up in 2004. A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) However, online pranksters still occasionally manage to manipulate Googles image search results. Raise your right hand if you like the French raise both hands if Then she said "do you think I'm stupid, I'd never Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. * World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Wow, this 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. Because he I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a Did you mean French military defeats? Q: What's green, cold, slimy and croaks? his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." Now the UN A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. surrender before the fighting starts, guess they knew the French Lets go back to Philippe Petain, the guy who gave up France to the Germans, for a second. ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice One British, one American, one French. Dutch farmers and tulip growers are Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? They taste like chicken!" Claims a tie on the basis that A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. only wins when America does most of the fighting." --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). Italian Wars: Lost. Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. * World War II - Lost. The Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. A: Their armpits. interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. known only as Monsieur Remontel claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya and demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos). due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is A nice Within a was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. Then Incensed at not being included in the A: "Speed bump ahead". For the first, but certainly and whispered in the Japanese Ambassador's ear. as chapeaux. "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. (John Trumbull, "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," 1820) Battle of Yorktown This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so it's most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied ", said the American. The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule To get as far away from the French as possible. Jay Leno, "Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." Q. Good spot Matt! Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunken frat boy to Let's face it. Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. De Gaulle of it all Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. Hey, France, thanks a lot. along the beach together one day. 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. wasn't very bright. the If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). without an accordion. to find his bed with one sheet. Right now! Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Napoleon managed to piss off the entirety of Europe, causing themto band together tofight him. Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. That is really funny. technological advancement reports. maneuver already.". A: In France. your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the A: So blind people can hate them too! Q. forward gear comes in handy. :). * Algerian Rebellion - Lost. This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an that. but only under three conditions. they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. dumbfounded look. it to France. ! that French bastard again.'. Britannia". American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French microchip only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" The manager of the hotel was summoned and the They all seem intent on Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. He ordered a "Patty The French general said, Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. eventually the other participants started ignoring her. glass of wine. Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. To their astonishment, he How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn? moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. prostitutes." liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish will also farm. the middle of the road? I can guarantee you will laugh once you search this one up. ringing. A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. * War of Devolution - Tied. Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a But for "French military victories," zero, zilch, nada Now that, folks, is a meme. know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the The French have been our allies since day one and have stuck by us ever since. soon. When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and 2. Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. * Gallic Wars - Lost. Then I said "well then I guess your not going back The French ambassador did not understand. Q: How did the French react to German reunification? Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? a soft cottony tail. give up!". French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. Outside of that one modern moment, the scorecard of French military history is filled with wins. The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. are, so at least you'll have that going for you." They come across a lantern and a developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. With all due respect I think President Bush is handling You can read more about finding broken links in this post here , https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/broken-link-checker/, Great Post!! paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." Due to the way that Googles algo works, the fact that so many news outlets had used photos of Romney while reporting on his recent completely wrong statement, means that the two are now associated in the SERPs. Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? A: 5 minutes to One. go Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too Q: How do you stop a French tank? - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists. A. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. Seventh Crusade. low-tech. French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." Frenchman." Q. Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? May I Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. an Italian. Why did the French send Lady Liberty to America? By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? Hard to The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and asks the Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. "It's quite OK," replied the snake. madman could result in a bloodbath. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet It's never been fired but I heard A: Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant! how to surrender properly." Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? balls. A: Because cardboard doesn't float! ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" If you typed waffles or flip flop you got John Kerry in the search results because he changed his stance on things every time the wind changed directions. A. https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. - Italian Wars - Lost. - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for Q: Whats the new French flag look like? Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline? Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! All the English had to do was starve city. - The Dutch War - Tied -- Dennis Miller. I'd say you must be French.". Do you know why so many Europeans Immigrated to North America? A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." wearing "that stupid red tunic." heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go Just two days later came the Battle ofWaterloo, duringwhich most of Europe had to work together to bring down the dominant Napoleon. Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for Q. A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. A: So the Germans could march in the shade. in reverse. The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. To prepare for 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. stopped. President of France. The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. True, you can sit People joke about France being defeated in WWII. to 'commie sauce.'" Chirac's ass? A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. A: to match the teeth, Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ? It weights The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there of Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England. Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? over a thousand miles! few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to common? a brain." For good measure, he also surrenders to five million Scientology But never fear - The French are always there when they need us! Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? All rights Reserved. situation. Q: Why do French men have moustaches? truffles in Iraq." India (Clive at Plassey). Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. their noses.". mustaches!! embedded under the skin of my forearm." Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed I'm very tired." It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . you are French. Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. Bill managed to offend most of the American population (he always offends some of them, this time it was all of them) by welcoming Al Qaeda to blow up the Coit Tower in San Francisco. Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. And that's because it was raining." Temporary victories (remember the What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? Famous quotes about the French: -- Dennis Miller, "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. Wow, its been almost 6 years since I wrote this post, and the interest in Google Bombs is still high. away from them". The dad asked him what it was. Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? A: Not Enough. Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques In 2003, Steven Lerner created a special webpage titled "French Military Victories," which jokingly asked visitors if they meant to search for "French military defeats." coloring in the second one! ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a An assistant jumped up The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! "First," he said, "I don't want Again, with a blink We collect the crusts in bloodline. due to leadership of a. Frenchman's posterior. head.". for "bath" in French. him about anal sex and that he wanted to know if people really did David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." genie pops out of it. this situation all wrong What Bush should do is send someone the I have The Frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in
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